So being the sensible person I am, faced with so many decisions, 3 almost paid-for college educations… and my dream job… I take the road less traveled and went for class. I scheduled visitation to School #1: fail. OSU was by far too large to care about lil ol’ me, with baggage in tow. By default, I end up at Otterbein University. It seems like a solid decision, a small private liberal arts college in a cute lil town just minutes from my house.
The daycare my son goes to is ironically, walking distance from campus. (If you call “campus” a cluster of 5 or 6 buildings and a handful of old Victorian homes labeled “Psychology Dept” or “Student Affairs”… it’s really quite cute!)
I sign up for classes. Its not easy. I break down more than once in the advisor’s office “What am I DOING?” I ask over and over. I’m not 18 anymore. I don’t belong here. I’m a grown up, I need a desk job! Spending my days sketching hardly pays the bills!
My schedule changes. And again. I dont know this town, or the building or the street names, so I cant even find the buildings. I dont know where to park or how to log in to the system. I’ve lost my schedule and my mind. There are graham cracker crumbs in my diaper bag converted to bookbag and all my notebooks are half full of 5 yrs of grocery lists, recipes, scribbles and coffee stains.
My first day of class, I call the advisor, panicked, “I have a Theatre class right now. I know it’s right now, but I dont know what building or room number and my schedule is lost. I dont know where I’m going. Please help me, can you look up my schedule? I’m sooooo having a retard moment right now and there’s no way I’m gonna be able to to this. OMG, please, help?” I ramble on, she cuts me off with the sweet aound of laughter. She thought the “retard moment” was the best part, and I, too, am laughing uncontrollably. Students are watching me, standing there with the psydodiaper bag, clueless. I did have theatre class, not in the building I thought it was in… not at the time I thought it was. SIGHHHH….
But I’m determined to do this: I’m an artist and I’ll be damned if I cant get myself through art school. The current plan includes 3 7:30-3 days of class, meaning a wakeup call of 5:30, in order to get breakfast and the boy to preschool on time. The other 2 days are shifts making drinks and washing dishes at Panera, alongside the other college kids, who happen to be 5 yrs my junior.
I’m up until 3 am stuffing in bits of freelance work and writing papers, doing laundry and cleaning crusty bits of play-dough off the couch. There’s no social life in my future, let alone any money for “extra” things like shaving cream and Starbucks (though I’m REALLY gonna need coffee… no one’s seeing my legs in the near future)
Amazing the sacrifices you’ll make to get where you wanna go.